Lost

I logged into SL for the first just now, in I’m not sure how long. It started with a picture I saw on Crap Mariners blog, of a Christmas tree on the ice in Nowhereville, with snow drifting down around it. When I first joined SL in 2007 it was winter time, right around Christmas. All the sims were decorated similarly, and it all felt so new and magical to me. When I saw that picture on his blog just now, I got such a sense of nostalgia.

“What if I logged in, right now?” I thought to myself. Could I? For some reason, its been so long that the separation feels permanent. I wasn’t sure I could even remember HOW to log in, or how to find my way around in there. Would my old client still work? Is the password saved? Do I even remember it, if it wasn’t?

The calender on the wall next to my desktop still says July. That’s how long ago I bought my laptop and moved to WoW. I managed to log in, and found myself in my Linden Home, where I last logged out. The candles were still flickering on the wall shelf, where I left them. I grabbed the mouse and tried to walk forward, and nearly deleted a bookcase. I tried to turn around, but all I got was aaaaaa. People who play WoW will understand what I mean.

My space navigator was unplugged next to my computer, with the wire all coiled up. I plugged it in, hoping it would help free my line of sight from my avatar, so I could get a better look around, and regain my bearings. As soon as I plugged it in, my avatar was airborn, smashing around the walls and ceiling of my home like a moth trapped in a windowsill. Maybe they changed something with the settings since I last used it. I looked at the Advanced menu at the top of my screen, but had no idea where to go from there, so I unplugged the device, and managed to land my avatar next to the front door.

I wanted to see who was online in my friends list, but hitting O didn’t do anything. It took me a few seconds to remember which was the right button. I found Stuart online,and he TP’d me to Rezzed TV island to give me a tour of the new VWE arena. Moving around was difficult. I couldn’t remember how to jump over a barricade that was in my way. Walking felt agonizingly slow, and I automatically glanced to the right of my screen for the hot key that would let me mount up on my horse. I wanted to at least run, but had to ask how to toggle that on. Flying though, was surprisingly fast. WAY faster than my epic mount.

After Stuart left, I tried to decide what I wanted to do. I felt sort of like wandering around a store, and looking at clothing. Where to people shop these days, though? I dug around in my inventory for some of my old favorites. Redgrave and Digit Darkes.. no longer there. The LM to Blaze still worked, but the store was completely empty. I sort of wanted to go where I could find people I know.. plurkers, bloggers. But I guess there never was a central hang out spot, unless someone was having a party. In WoW, I could just go to the Trade District, Blue Recluse or Pig and Whistle. But here?

I found myself hovering near the ceiling of Blaze, without a clue where to go next. I TP’d to one more store but eventually got bored and frustrated as I stared at twisted sculpties and gray textures.. I don’t know where to go, what to do or how to find anyone. Eventually I gave up, and logged out. I have ghost mushrooms and ragveil to farm, anyway..

Second Life Double Rainbow!!!

Loody Graves encounters a double rainbow across the sky!

(It’s so intense.)

Nightmares

In my dream, I was just leaving a friend or family members house, on the night of my birthday. It was fairly late at night, probably around 10 or 11pm. I was carrying my purse, and a couple of bags that had some gifts in them. My car was parked in a short driveway type pull in at the front of the house, but it didn’t lead all the way up to the house because it was surrounded on all three sides by a lot of bush-hedge type landscaping. They were all neatly trimmed, with gray rock landscaping. It must have been wintertime, because it was lightly snowing – even though in real life, my birthday is in August. As I approached my car, I was thinking to myself- ‘Wow, it is REALLY dark out here..’ The street lights were off, for some reason. And it was unreasonably dark. I guess because of the snow- the moon wasn’t even out.

I was just opening my car door, when a man’s voice demanded, ‘STOP.’ He was approaching from the sidewalk, on the other side of the car, maybe 10 meters away. His arm was outstretched and aiming a handgun at me. He looked to be in his early 30′s, maybe about 5’10″, very pale skin, short dark brown hair and a small dark mustache. He was neatly dressed- wearing a white cotton polo-type shirt, and faded blue jeans. I can’t even describe the shock and horror I felt when I saw him. You hear all the time about people getting mugged, but it’s never happened to me. “Noooo!” I kind of moaned in horror. My ipod touch is in my purse! I thought to myself. I can’t let him..” It was an unreasonable thought- but in that split second, my unfortunate instinct was to try and just get away. I threw my purse and bags into the passenger seat of my car- “Man, I’ll bust you up..” the man snarled, and rushed towards me. His voice was really deep and menacing. I slid into the driver seat and slammed the door, just as he reached the rear of the car. My hand moved to lock the door, but I was so petrified.. I felt half paralyzed, like I was moving in slow motion. My hand found the lock button just as he reached my door. I beat him by probably a quarter of a second. Keys. On the seat somewhere next to me, but I could hardly move. I could see him in the window, out of the corner of my eye. I was committed, now. Do I honk the horn, and hope he runs away? Do I try to drive away and just hope he doesn’t shoot me through the glass? My mind was racing a trillion miles an hour, all of these thoughts flying by in that next second. And terror like I’ve never experienced in my life..

Then I woke up, abruptly. My body felt like it had waves of ice cold water running over my skin, and my mind was still crystal clear from the adrenaline rush. 2:40 am. Every tiniest detail was captured in my memory. Strange, because I very rarely have nightmares. I can probably count the number of times I’ve woken up from one in my whole lifetime, on both hands. Normally, my dreams in general are very abstract. Disjointed ideas that make little sense when all put together.. and I seldom have nightmares. When I do- they aren’t really scary, on a personal level. Creepy and interesting, maybe. It’s more like watching a scary movie. Even in my dream, they usually don’t directly pertain to me. Or even if they do, it’ll be something I’ll vaguely remember when I wake up in the morning, and they’ll be so fragmented that they really don’t make a lot of sense.

This dream was bizarre. Every detail was captured so vividly, and seemed so real. I was compelled to get up immediately. Turn on every light in the house, and write it all down. Strange. The house was not familiar to me-  I don’t know anyone with a house like that. I don’t know why it was my birthday in the dream, yet it was snowing. The man didn’t really resemble anyone I know. The only parts of the dream that seemed to be mine was the car itself, and my ipod touch.

This has nothing to do with SL, obviously. But like I said.. I felt completely compelled to write this down, and this blog seemed to be the only outlet. The fear itself faded quickly. I still feel hyper alert and slightly disturbed, but not scared. It’s 3:15 AM now and I’m sipping my first cup of coffee. My cat Hunter is curled up next to me, in that half asleep, half awake state that cats are so good at. Everything feels alright, now. It was just weird.

If you read this, thanks for letting me share.

SL7B – Miraculous

Rezzed.tv

Diversity Within Unity

Asterion Coen

The Restorationists

My Chronical Of Serendipity

Identity Crisis

Eshi Otawara & M Linden - Doodle

TP to Miraculous

SL7B – Upsidedown

Metaverse TV

A Cacophony Of Influences

Starlight Park

SL Coast Guard

At The End Of The Milky Way

TP to Upsidedown

SL7B – Sideways

The Sound Is Growing

Hobo Holidays

Japanese Tradition

TP to Sideways

SL7B- Unique

People, The Heart Of Zeus

Yokohama Marching Band

Intelli

TP to Unique

SL7B- Phenomenal

TeleOctoscope

Tiatopia Island

TP to Phenomenal

SL7B- Visionary

Heath Installation

Aero Pines Park

TP to Visionary

SL7B- Contrary

Club Visiwa Estate

Club Visiwa Estate

TP to Contrary