New Leaf

There are a few bad habits I’ve been noticing about myself, lately. A rut I’ve let myself get stuck in, for quite awhile now.

When I first came to SL and started this blog, I wanted to explore Second Life like a whole new world.. something undiscovered. I wanted my blog to be about that. As I read the blogs of everyone else, I’m starting to feel more and more left behind. Friendships are being formed out there, places are being discovered and enjoyed. And day after day, I log into Second Life and tuck myself away in one of my hideaways. Then I spend the next several hours ‘working’.

‘Work’ could mean anything from working on my art, to playing slingo (which has become my full time job in SL, where do you think I get all my lindens?), to shopping for furniture.. to lately, attempting to build my own furniture. What I HAVEN’T been doing is exploring, and seeing what all is out there. My blog posts are always about the same things. Quick snippets mentioning a podcast, an art show, some other form of self advertisement. Maybe a movie or some photos I’ve taken. But regardless, its always about the same damn thing.

I found myself nodding off at the computer just now.. eyes glazed over from hours and hours of scouring the pages of Onrez, looking for furniture for my house. Next to me are sketches of coffee tables and countertops I plan on trying to make. On the back of that, lists of places to buy textures.

Now and then I’ll poke my head out to show up for an event.. but its always just for a few minutes. I desperately want to explore SL5B, thats about to close a couple of days from now. All together, I think I’ve spent 30 minutes there since it opened. And that was over 3 different trips. I went to the opening of Rouge last night, which was a LOT of fun. But minutes after I got there, I was recording video footage on fraps. Once that was done, I TP’d out to begin editing. I think I was there maybe 20 or 30 minutes.

I feel like I’m turning into an SL workaholic. Don’t get me wrong.. there are so many things I want to see and explore, but I never feel like I have the time, because there are always 20 other things I need to get done. Or, that I feel need to get done. Really, the only time I stop to ‘play’, is when Keeme is in.

Which brings me to this point. A few times, I’ve been out with him and we’ve just been wandering around. He’ll TP us somewhere random, and just start walking. I’ve always been intrigued by that. Whenever I go somewhere in SL, I have a destination in mind. A place I’m focused on getting, and a plan of what I’ll need to do when I get there. But I’m beginning to realize, that I’m probably letting myself miss out on an awful lot by doing that. Maybe I should take more time to notice my surroundings. And, the people in them.. rather than flying or TPing away from everyone I come across. What if I had done that when I met people like Chug and Radar.. Keeme.. Crap, Yxes.. all the other people I consider good friends, now. I can’t tell you the last person I went up and just started talking to. I think I stopped doing that a month or so after I came into SL. Why? I don’t know.. but I wonder what I’ve been missing out on, by doing that.

I also can’t remember the last time I wrote a blog post like this one. A REAL post, where I just let my thoughts filter out over the keyboard. I just did something I should do a lot more of. I just opened the map, clicked and random. And now I’ll see where that takes me.

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~ by Nika Dreamscape on July 7, 2008.

2 Responses to “New Leaf”

  1. Hey Nika… I’ve been obsessed over building my own house lately and missed out on SL5B, but that was also partly coz I don’t like lagfests 🙂 I doubt I’ll try furniture – the house is quite enough! lol

    Do you know, I’ve never really explored in SL? Partly because like you, I need to have a goal or a purpose, and partly also because I rarely have anyone to do it with. But I think I’m accepting the fact that maybe I’m not so interested in exploring, and that’s okay. I guess what I’m trying to say is, don’t feel pressured to do certain things; do it for yourself and enjoy the SL experience 🙂

  2. don’t feel bad about it. you find stuff you like to do, and you do it. it’s all balance. i see in sl most people cycle through things, come back to the one, and start the cycle again. you have no choice because it IS *second* life and we all have RL’s with way too much going on in them already.

    No worries. 🙂

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